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RUFAIR  (DATELINE - KANSAS - 1/17/10) When I look back on my life with MS, there are so many red flags that show up, telling me, something is wrong with you. I was not a sickly child or teen. I attended a small school and participated in about....everything. Sports, theatre, music, band, I did it all. Oh, and there were some class and study things in there somewhere. Sports I loved the best. I was a real good athlete, but in a small body, 5’7”, 155 lbs., and I loved football. I played linebacker and running back, but I could never get in great shape. In running drills, I won the first couple sprints down the field, but after that I couldn’t come close to winning. I was wore out. I needed to be in better shape, but when I tried to exercise, run, to get in shape, it wore me out so much, I would give up. Knowing now my MS is heat sensitive, I cringe when I think how hot those football helmets were on a hot day in Sept, when we were practicing. Maybe that slowed me down some. It was like that in many things I did. Work? I was known as about the laziest thing in town, cause I couldn’t keep up with others my age. Then it was time for college. I went to college to major in Radio/TV. I was gonna be a DJ. The next Casey Kasem. When I think about why I went into R/TV, it was because it was a sit down job, and I wouldn’t get tired. I went to Kansas State University, a big campus, long walks to get to class. The long walks created some problems. I didn’t like them, so I didn’t do them as often as I should. I flunked out after 2 1/2 yrs. I got a job as a car salesman for 8 months, sucked at that, but the economy was bad, and I didn’t work real hard at it. Anyway, I decided school wasn’t that bad, and I went back and got a apartment about as far away from campus as it could be, thus attending class ran into another hurdle. Oh well, the partying was great, real great. lol I found out I really liked smoking pot. Lots of it. It made me feel good. But then it was time to move into the real world again, so I moved back home, lived with Mom, no this was not going to work, moved in with brother, free rent. I have great brothers. I had a job as a cable TV salesman, worked in a couple bars, met interesting people who challenged me to do something better with my life. I got a real job, but still held onto my part-time night job at the club, c+w bar, you should’ve seen me 2 step. I was good, but I never danced more than 2 songs at a time cause I was worn out from that too. I was challenged to get an even better job than I had, so I answered an ad in the paper for a sales job with 3rd largest cigarette manufacturer in country. My brother had a friend who had a job like this with different company so I knew a little about it. I applied, interviewed, interviewed again, spent a day on a work with, met with the big boss, and got hired. Now this was the real deal, I had a company car, I had a real good salary, benefits out the ying-yang, and free cigarettes. Could there be anything better? lol Because of circumstances I had run into, this job became a nightmare. It required a lot of physical activity, and was very stressful, and there were other stressful factors playing a part. I was kinda a mess, but a well dressed mess. I loved that about the job, I got to wear nice clothes. lol I did most of the job well and was promoted to a different position in Wichita, KS. I got there, hated it, hated my job, I knew I was gonna get fired, but there was nothing I could do. I had just let myself get out of shape so I was struggling. Any way again, I met a beautiful woman who had just started working for the cig company, and things happened, and I quit and she took my position and we moved in together and I went looking for job and I could always get a job, I could talk myself into it, but although I could talk the talk, I couldn’t walk the walk. I kind of bounced from job to job. I had a lazy reputation again, and my girlfriend was one of em who thought that. We got married, found out on a Tuesday we were gonna have a baby, and on Wednesday I was given a diagnosis of MS from a Dr who I just wanted to know why I was having trouble seeing. Oh yeah, there was that time my left had didn’t work right, but that went away, so I didn’t worry about it, and yes, yes I do get tired easily. For a long time now I have gotten tired real easily. I had heard of MS, but never knew anyone who had it. On the way home from the Dr. I asked my wife if she wanted to terminate the pregnancy and get a divorce. Back then she said no, but I wonder what her answer would be today.
(The life sage continues......)
 When we found out about the baby and my MS, I had started going back to college, full-time. I was doing ok, I just didn’t like school, and I was taking a aerobics class, wearing my ass out. After the dx I didn’t work as hard in that class. After the semester ended in May I went on the hunt for a fulltime job, and got one, and was a real traveling salesman. Some weeks I left on Mon and got home on Fri, and after the baby came, my wife was going crazy all by herself with job and baby. So this job I didn’t get fired......I quit! My kids are the greatest things in the world to me. I was present when both were born, cut the cords, gave them a bath right after birth, I got that gooey crap on my hands, and after I quit my job, I stayed home and played Mr. Mom. Best experience of my life. And I love baby food. lol I worked some part time jobs in grocery sales business and after boys got their legs undet them I was ready to do something else. I fell into a great job situation. My boss was fantastic, he didn’t believe in working real hard and I tried to meet his expectations. I called on about 20 big grocery stores selling displays and product facings. I loved it, but then company got sold and guess who was out of job. In 1996 family and I moved back to my hometown, small school for the boys, I had a few jobs, got fired, oh well. Now the boys are at college and I am at home living in PWMS. I have never really been knocked down except once back in 2001. I overdid it and it kicked my ass for awhile. I went back to my Neuro, who was great but there was nothing he could ever do so I hadn’t been for awhile. So in 2001, I was asked if I was ready to do something about the MS. He said there were new drugs to stop or slow the progression. Oh really? Yea that one a week one sounds best. I got along with Avonex really well. No sides, just a little glum the next day, sometimes. And I felt good but I applied for SSDI, and got it after year and half. My wife lost her good job with cig company back in 2001, and we have had to adapt to changes in the financial dealings, but we are doing alright. Not that a win in the lottery is not welcome. My life now and for the past 22 years has been my boys, and they have turned out so wonderful. I could not be prouder of them than I am. I don’t know what the immediate future holds as far as my lifestyle, married or not. I am thinking it would be for the best to not................ ....................and the saga
continues
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